


Two Drinks In and You're By My Side

by yuffiehighwind



Category: China Illinois
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-03 07:00:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4091431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuffiehighwind/pseuds/yuffiehighwind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pony tells Steve what happened to Johnny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two Drinks In and You're By My Side

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after S3E8, "Life Coaches." The title is a lyric from the song "I Still Miss You" by Keith Anderson.

He doesn't ask her until they're good and drunk.

Even then he thinks it's a bad idea.

"So you were married?"

Steve's eyes are on his drink when he says it, apprehensive about what Pony's reaction will be. Her heavy sigh prompts him to look up. She isn't mad anymore. Just...tired.

"Yeah," she says, and it's barely audible. She clears her throat and repeats it louder. "Yeah, I was married. To, um, this guy I went to school with."

Steve nods, trying to look supportive but really he's just curious. Wondering why she would murder someone over these feelings she's buried. _Volcanic_ , the way they burned beneath the surface. He knew Pony was tough but he had no idea just how tough she was.

He doesn't ask how he died. Instead, Steve says, "What was he like?"

Pony's expression is hard to read. Somewhere in between love and hate. She smiles slightly.

"A smoker." She chuckles. "I mean...he was a pothead. Shiftless, a deadbeat. Mom couldn't stand him." Pony gives Steve a furtive glance. "I was too, kinda. 'Cept I used to drink. We skipped class a lot, didn't get very good grades. But man, could he make me laugh."

Steve smiles, picturing the two of them passing a 40 back and forth beneath the bleachers.

"He was my first, ya know? And half the kids in our neighborhood were getting married right out of high school. Because...well..."

Pony trails off, and Steve knows exactly what she means. College was off the table with a baby on the way.

"Were you...?"

Pony shakes her head fervently and it's the first time she's met Steve's eyes in ten minutes.

"No! No, I wasn't."

Pony looks away again, and Steve wishes she wouldn't. Part of him wants to reach out, take her hand. Hug her, maybe, but that's probably just the booze.

In a small voice, Pony adds, "But I thought I might be."

Steve refreshes her drink instead. She nods a thank you and continues her story.

"Anyway, we got hitched. Just went to the courthouse the day we turned eighteen and did it." Pony takes a sip of her drink. Scotch still makes her wince. She drinks it anyway. "Mom was _thrilled_ ," she says sarcastically. "It was actually kinda awesome. We were rebels and we were in love."

Pony takes another quiet sip, and Steve prepares to tell her his own story of young love lost, not expecting Pony to confess what happened the day she became a widow. But she continues, and does just that.

"We were drinking that night, out on Lake St. Clair, and we were _so_ stoked to be there. We were on this graduation trip with our classmates. Not officially, just took off after commencement. Our friend Joe stole his uncle's boat. Hitched it to his truck and towed the thing. Nobody came after us. His uncle didn't even know it was gone.

"We set up camp on some beach by Grosse Pointe Park, I think. Took her out on the water and...well..."

Pony freezes up, the memory she repressed coming back to her. Steve doesn't just want to hold her, he thinks he might have to.

"You don't have to finish that sentence."

"I was drunk. I was really, _really_ drunk." Pony wraps her arms around herself tightly. "Lake St. Clair on a June weekend is...There are other boats around."

"I get the picture."

Steve gets out of his seat to sit beside her on the couch. He isn't surprised when Pony leans into him, letting him drape his arm over her shoulders.

"I know you feel shitty about what happened. Guilty, ashamed..."

Pony laughs mirthlessly. "Thanks for reminding me, dick."

"But what's done is done. It's in the past, Pony. Johnny's dead, but you were just stupid kids doing what stupid kids do."

"I know. But it still hurts."

"Of course it does. Is that...Is that why you kept his name?"

"Huh?"

"Did you keep his name because you miss him?"

Pony looks confused, then says, "No, I kept his name because I'd already enrolled at UCI and it was a pain in the ass to change it back."

Steve grins, shaking his head. Pony sits up and holds out her glass, and Steve no longer wonders why. Maybe she's just too lazy to insist on a different liquor.

"I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me all this."

She shrugs. "I'm glad you're here to listen."

Steve swigs his drink and says, "Let me tell you 'bout this girl called May, and the first time I got married."

"'First' time? You mean there was more than one?"

"If you count Las Vegas quickies that get annulled a day later."

Pony laughs. "Okay, I gotta hear this."

"It all started..."


End file.
